DCCRPG - The Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk - Part Four

Cleric v. Cleric

This is the true story...
Of two clerics...
Picked to join an adventuring party... 
And have their quests blogged about... 
To find out what happens...
When priests stop being polite... 
... and start getting real.

The Real World: Sunken City!

In most role-playing games, the introduction of a second Cleric into the party goes unnoticed.  Dungeon Crawl Classics is not that kind of game.  After losing his beloved Dwarf Bellows during the last session, +Marc Plourde showed up with his new Cleric: Ichabod Crane.  

Marc used the new Crawling Revolution Occupation List to come up with Ichabod, who started his life as a potato farmer.  While farming his small patch of potatoes outside a Sunken City keep, Ichabod dug up a giant, cephalopod shaped potato, with tentacle-like roots sprouting from one end.  It was a sign... a sign from Cthulhu... that Ichabod was "chosen."  

And so, Ichabod Crane, potato farmer, placed the great Potathulhu into his sack, created a holy symbol of Cthulhu, and began preaching the good word of the dark lord.  

The Free Company allowed Ichabod into their party following an epic battle against to free the River Keep.  Ichabod had been kept prisoner there by Woart Redhelm.  The Free Company's other Cleric, Ssof Rehtaf, hadn't been present during the battle, but was instead taking care of business back at Slither's End.  When Ssof, priest of Aristemis, came to join his companions, he instantly clashed with the champion of Cthulhu.  

At some point last night the topic came up that Aristemis was perhaps a goddess of the hearth as well as all-seeing and such.  So when we started describing Ichabod's spells as manifestations of the holy potato, featuring demonic french-fry visions of hell, it didn't take long for us to bring up Ssof's hearth-based deity as a prophet of brick-oven pizza.

Pizza versus fries... make your choice!

The Great SCOT Continues

The Free Company, our adventuring party happily enjoying the Great Sunken City Omnibus Tour, completed Perils of the Sunken City and last month moved onto the The Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk.  If you're interesting in starting this story from the beginning, here are the previous tales:

• Perils of the Sunken City, Part One
• Perils of the Sunken City, Part Two
• The Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk, Part One
• The Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk, Part Two
• The Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk, Part Three

This is an open door campaign, so we can always have new players join our group.  Here are our only rules from game to game:

• Schedule five players for each event
• Hold a sixth seat free for last minute additions
• Players who complete an adventure have "dibs" on joining the next adventure
• Players can bow out, and rejoin later with living or new characters so long as there is a open spot at the virtual table

As always, Die Rodney!

The Free Company Roster

• Nicodemus - Thief, played by +Alex Perucchini 
• Watson - Wizard, played by +Craig McCullough 
• Ichabod Crane - Cleric, played by +Marc Plourde
• Ssof Rehtaf - Cleric, played by +andrew lyon 
• Imric - Elf, played by +Paul Go 

The Ooze Pits of Jonas Gralk, Part Four

The Free Company, now in possession of a rustic river keep (Castle Bellows), does some book keeping before continuing on their quest to uncover the secret of Jonas Gralk and his mother Clotilda.  The group's new cleric, Ichabod, places Or Ida, a member of Cthulhu's lay clergy, in charge.  The thirty peasants of Castle Bellows are directed to conduct fishing on the river with a single rowboat, and farm a six-hundred square foot potato garden.  

Ssof discovers the object of Ichabod's devotion, the great Cthulhu shaped potato (potathulhu) and attempts to smash it with his hammer.  He misses, but this causes a cold-war between the two clerics.  

Before departing, one of the peasants informs Watson that, during his absence earlier in the day, a strange hooded man came calling.  The figure had skeletal hands and a staff topped with a bird skull, but his face was unseen.  When he found out that Watson was not there, he kept muttering about it not being "the right time."  

The Free Company sets out for the Unusually Large Tree to the northwest, hoping to find more clues to Jonas Gralk's whereabouts.  En route they are beset upon by a quartet of Dirty Centaurs.  Although well armed, the Dirty Centaurs aren't able to deal with the combined magical might of two clerics, a wizard, and an elf.  

While going through the gear of the Dirty Centaurs, Imric finds a wooden wine box.  He opens the box, but a deafening "metal scream" blasts his ears, causing him to drop the box. This is found to be sacred Ur-Hadad wine, most likely an offering to the Metal Gods themselves.  

The Free Company arrives at the Unusually Large Tree late in the afternoon.  They meet Nik-Nik, the protector of the tree and "Prince of Squirrels."  Nik-Nik offers the party some food, cooked over a fire created by a six-foot long magic wand that weighs over one-hundred and fifty pounds.  Nik-Nik explains that the Unusually Large Tree sprung up thirty five years earlier, and that everything around the tree was friggin' huge.  Even the acorns... wait...

ACORNS!

Nik-Nik calls for the party to get out of the way during a rain of watermelon sized acorns.  Only Imric pays attention, running to the side while the rest of the party just ducks and gets thwacked.  

When asked about Jonas Gralk, Nik-Nik points east and tells the party that they may be able to find him in that direction.  The Free Company also asks Nik-Nik if there is anything else of worth at the Unusually Large Tree.  Nik-Nik claims to know several caves beneath the roots, and offers to lead them to one.  

The root cave is corrupted and fleshy.  Entering the organ-like caverns below the roots, the party finds a small network of orifices.  Scanning with detect evil and detect magic spells, the party notes evil to the north and east, and magic to the west.  The "mouth" to the west leads to a dripping pool of Blood Syrup that causes skin to harden and turn to bark.  Nicodemus tries drinking the sap, but has his flesh fall off as his immune system rejects the toxins.  While being healed, the party hears noises behind them.

The evil entities that enter the sap chamber are Type I Squirrel Demons, covered in eyeballs and sporting limbs that are as limber as spaghetti.  Strangely, the party finds these squirrels very attractive.  In combat the Type I Squirrel Demons "pouch" their enemies, causing damage to them while in their mouths.  Although immune to fire, and resistant to non-magic weapons, the Type I Squirrel Demons are no match for Ssof (wielding Fairystomper), Ichabod (wielding the Stick of Smite), and Watson's screaming death eagles (magic missile.)

At the end of the battle the party takes four Squirrel Demon eggs.  That'll go well.  

Adventure Notes

• It came up during play that the prophets of Aristemis have an entire book that foretells a terrible calamity by the hands of Cthulhu and his priests.  Ssof recalls the book to be titled the Book of Idaho.  Perhaps a future artifact?
• The Dirty Centaurs are a reference to an old Saturday Night Live skit featuring Christopher Walken giving a centaur a job interview.  Statistically Dirty Centaurs are identical to normal centaurs, but filthy and ill-tempered.  They tend to take up lives as bandits, short-order cooks, and sanitation workers.
• The Dirty Centaurs had three Stank Poultices amongst their swag:
• Stank Poultice: Fort Save, DC 5.  Success, heal 1d14 hit points.  Failure, cause 1d14 damage.
• When opening a box of Ur-Hadad wine, be careful of the wicked metal scream:
• Cry of Metal Trap:  Will Save, DC 10 or 1d6 damage... YEAH!!!!!)
• I created the Root Cave to amp up the danger for a party of 2nd level characters.  This area is not in the original adventure.  
• New Monster!  Type I Squirrel Demons:
• Squirrel Demon (Type 1) Init +1; Atk Bite +3 melee, 1d8 dmg; AC 14; HD 3d12; MV 30'; Act ; SP Special Attack: Swallow Whole (Squirrel Cheeks, DC 12 to escape, 1 dmg/rnd while inside), demon traits; SV Fort +0, Ref +2, Will +0, AL C.
• Traits: Many Eyes, Beautiful, Elastic Limbs
• Standard Type 1 Demon Features
• Communication: Speech (Infernal,Common)
• Abilities: Infravision, darkness (+4 check)
• Immunities: Half-damage from non-magical weapons and fire
• Projection: Cannot travel planes of own volition
• Crit Threat Range: 20
• Blood Sap of the Unusually Large Tree:
• Imbibe, Fort Save DC 15, Skin hardening.  Fail lose 1d3 stamina permanently.  Success, gain +1 AC permanently.  Cannot be consumed more than once.  

Quotes?

"Looks like mashed potatoes are back on the menu, boys!" - Nicodemus makes the first potato quote of the night.

"If Aristemis says smite the potato, I'm gonna smite the potato." - Andy is going after that tater!

"The potathulhu is not tainted!" - Ichabod Crane proclaims.

"That is one dirty centaur." - Marc is right.

"You told me the Fairy Stomper is +5 versus people with multiple butts!" - Andy quotes the Judge who did indeed make this statement in jest.  Now it's canon.

"It's not my fault your eyes don't work." - Imric, blessed with infravision, mocks the rest of the party.

"Wait, wait, wait, I took a taste first.  I'm putting it on pancakes if I like it!" - Nicodemus eats the blood sap.

"I love how the Judge says 'who is the last one in the room', and now everyone is in the front of the party." - Paul kept getting screwed over on party order last night.

In Memoriam 

• None