DCCRPG - Frozen in Time - Part 2

Let's just say there are some statements that should never be made by player characters in  the Dungeon Crawl Classics Role-Playing Game.  Here's one of them:  

"Okay, young slime creature, you can come with me!"

Last night our group of raiders, outlanders, and mutants continued their quest through Frozen in Time, a DCCRPG adventure by Michael Curtis.  This would be the team's third adventure across the wastelands of Crawling Under a Broken Moon.  Having lost a bunch of 0-level characters during the opening funnel, Mall Maul, the players made their way through the first part of Frozen in Time without losing a soul.  

All that changed last night, with one randomly placed, ancient, sentient dessert gelatin.   

Meet the Wastelanders

• Lisrayten, the Mutant amalgamation of three characters with a tortoise shell, played by Carrie
• Joe Teti, the survivalist Warrior with pacifist tendencies, who just happened to be armed with the group's best weapons, played by Matthew
• Fenrir, the robotic Cleric of the ancient deity Google, played by Ryan
• Mr. Handy, the Robot and multi-purpose floating tool-box, played by Braden
• Lord Old Man Legolas of Ikea, the great Elf noble and headless goat herder, played by Evan
• Doug, the most low-key Dwarf in the wastes… also the most devastating soldier in Umerica, played by Zach

Death by Doug

After a long "float" up the anti-gravity elevator shaft, guided by a long string of rope, the entire group of outlanders stood amidst rare flora from ages past.  Prehistoric ferns, futuristic bushes, and odd fruit possibly from the end of time itself.  On the far side of the chamber stood a doorway with a simple control panel featuring a single palm-shaped indentation.  Of all the plants in the room, one was particularly interesting.

Joe Teti approached a berry-bush, possibly hungry after a full day of travel and exploration.

"I bet the berries have faces," shouted Mr. Handy.  The robot was correct!  

As Joe turned one of the berries, a small sleeping face appeared.  The warrior then plucked the berry… and it started to scream!

"Why?  Why did you cut me away from my body?" the berry yelled.  "Please, please, I need somewhere warm and soft to live… like in your stomach!"  

No matter how much the berry pleaded with Joe Teti, the warrior didn't seem interested in eating it, so he just popped the poor, small piece nodule and moved on.  

By this point Doug realized that his dwarven hand could possibly activate the doorway, so he opened the portal revealing a snowy, ice and slush covered chamber with doorways at all four compass points:  north, south, flanj, and skomp. 

In the future of Umerica, east and west were destroyed by "the war" leaving only "flanj and skomp."  

Of the four doors in the next room, all four featured a different shape on their control panels: handprints with a disk in the center, including the door through with the crew stepped.  But at least the door to the north was ajar.  From a small gap, just wide enough for a human to step through, came all of the elements of the frigid north.  Cold, ice, frost, and snow poured through the portal, covering the central chamber. 

For no particular reason, the entire party started digging in the ice.  It started with Mr. Handy and his drill, and then Old Man Legolas was using his spear as a chisel, aided by Fenrir.  Eventually the party uncovered a simple metal pod.  The outlanders opened the pod, revealing a sleeping elf in a Wal-Mart uniform.  

When the man awoke, he stated that he was "Nerblaut of Le Marte de Wall", and he was so very grateful to be saved from his seemingly eternal hibernation.  Aside from his uniform, was also equipped with a mag-lite and a wireless Xbox controller.  Quickly he took to Doug the Dwarf, offering his services.  Fortunately for Nerblaut, his services would be required soon!  

With the only obvious exit being the room to the north, someone from the team would have to go into the cold chamber.  But no one wanted to go!  There was some discussion of a vote, and then a selection, but ultimately everyone looked at Nerblaut.  When asked to reconnoiter the cold chamber, Nerblaut requested a weapon and was handed a bayonet from Joe Teti.  Fenrir invoked Google and cast Resist Cold on the Neo Quebecois, so that he would have some modicum of protection.

Finally, Nerblaut was off!

A few minutes went by, and he didn't return… and then a few minutes more.  

Old Man Legolas seemed concerned, so he looked into the gap in the portal.  On the other side was a chamber full of snow, entering from a gaping hole in the ceiling leading to the outside world.  There was no sign of Nerblaut, but a lone, angry yeti stood in the center of the room, his body covered in bayonet wounds.  The yeti got one look at Old Man Legolas and charged the door!

Quickly, the elf cast a Ward Portal spell, keeping the door half stuck, just wide enough to see through, but not wide enough for the yeti.  The outlanders were saved. 

But then Doug noticed that on the floor of the chamber, right near the yeti's legs, was a small disk that looked like it would fit right in any of the security panels.  

Crap.

Old Man Legolas came up with a plan to "un-ward" the portal, and then shoot a grappling hook arrow across the chamber behind the yeti, and then pull the hook and create a noose that would grab the yeti and…

… and…

… I give up… I don't really know what Old Man Legolas' player was trying to pull off.  

That's okay.  As soon as Old Man Legolas un-warded the portal, the yeti opened the door and attacked!  While the creature desperately tried to attack the armored tortoise-mutant Lisrayten, the rest of the party argued.  Should they talk to the creature and heal its wounds, or press the attack?  Fenrir tried healing its wounds, but failed, and Joe Teti tried some soft words.  

Eventually Doug had enough.  The dwarf started by blasting the creature with his black-powder musket.  Startled, the rest of the party grabbed their weapons and tried to attack, but Doug would finish off the beastie with a spear-thrust.  

Seriously, its a good thing Doug's player Zach shows up!  He destroys all the monsters!

Once the yeti was dead, the party split up some of their findings and grabbed the key.  But there was a new dilemma… which door to enter.  

Flanj or south?  

Joe Teti wanted to explore to the flanj, but the rest of the party went south.  That's when everyone learned a very important lesson.

Okay, veteran gamers, say it with me:  "don't split the party."  

In the room to the flanj, Joe Teti found a long abandoned dining area.  Almost all of the foodstuffs were missing save for a single, blue gelatin dessert on a counter…

… and the dessert was calling to Joe!  

The cute little transparent blue gel had two big bright eyes and a smiling mouth.

"Take me with you, sir!  I've been in here for so long!" the now sentient dessert called out.  

"Okay, young slime creature, you can come with me!" Joe Teti announced.  The warrior lifted the glass container off of the slime, and turned around.  

That's when the gel attacked!

Joe Teti ran out of the dining chamber yelling for help, but it was too late.  The gelatin dessert took a final bite out of Joe, killing him.  Fenrir tried asking Google to aid his poor friend, but the data god was quite fickle.  

Joe was lost… but now the party had "Jel!"  The sentient gelatin dessert seemed much more calm after devouring Joe Teti, and the party agreed to let him join in their quest.  

The door to the south had revealed man wonders to the group just moments before.  Statues, artistic masterpieces, a weird lever on a wall, and a door to an elevator tube.  Oh, and in the middle stood a giant tyrannosaurus rex in stasis.  

Doug the Dwarf examined the T-Rex and noted that it still had a pulse.  It was alive, and unable to defend itself, so the dwarf took out the party's enchanted dinosaur killing dagger and began to slash at the T-Rex's legs.  Eventually the dinosaur lost so much blood that it died, although it remained in stasis.

Another kill for Doug.

While the door to the south required a different kind of disk, the panel to the north-flanj had the palm-shaped depression next to a lever.  The party pulled this lever revealing another elevator back in the snowy central chamber.  

So the team looted the room, grabbing both the Mona Lisa and a weird Campbell's Soup painting, and examined the central room yet again.

… to be continued… 

Quotes

"Uptown Funk is so 'one month' ago." - Carrie made a non-gaming comment at the beginning of the adventure that me me feel old.  

"Ryan, just go to Yahoo!"  Zach to Ryan after another failed spell.

"Okay, young slime creature, you can come with me!" - Joe Teti's last words.  

"In DCC, when you don't understand something you kill it to death!" - Ryan made a  wise comment near the end of the game.