After a terrific game of Dungeon Crawl Classics last Friday I was craving some more weird dice, critical hit tables, and 0-level funnel carnage. However, I've also been really interested in getting back to some Star Wars gaming, going so far as to purchase Fantasy Flight Games' X-Wing Miniatures starter set… and a few extra ships of course. With the limited time that I have as a busy geek dad approaching International Tabletop Day, I decided to scratch my itches for both DCC and Star Wars…
… by running a 0-Level Stormtrooper funnel!
I even generated a "crawl"… the one that starts at the beginning of a Star Wars movie, not the dungeon/classic variety:
* * *
Star Wars
Stormtroopers
When you joined the Empire you were nobodies: Order 66 Dodgers, Nerf Herders, Rancor Gongtenders, and other private sector failures. The hipster rebel scum said you would never amount to anything in your life, and that the Force was most certainly NOT with you.
You wanted to prove yourselves, to be a part of something greater. You wanted to show the Galaxy that you had the drive, determination, moxie, and luck necessary to bring all of known space to its knees for the greater glory of the New Order.
You became Stormtroopers…
Now, on the hot desert world of Tatooine, you face your inaugural mission - a terrifying manhunt through the abandoned Boonta Eve Classic Podrace track for a forgotten Jedi.
Perils abound, and most of you will die.
* * *
Sound interesting? Do you want to try it as well? With the help of the DCC communities on Google+ and Facebook, as well as my incredible friend and fellow Norwin Game Knight Andy, I threw together this list of starting Stormtrooper occupations and trade goods. Feel free to use them in your own DCC Star Wars game!
Just have each player roll a d100 and let the saga begin!
1 - Academy Mascot - Small personal cooling fan
2 - Alderaanian Travel Agent - Coffee Table Book of Alderaan
3 - Astrogation School Dropout - The Star Wars equivalent of a Hot Pocket
4 - AT-AT Knee Hinge Lubricator - Spray-on adhesive
5 - Backwards Fringer - Leather chaps
6 - Backwater HoloNet News Anchor - Comb, hairgel
7 - Bacta Tank Repairman - Small container of Bacta (heals 1d8 hp)
8 - Bantha Fodder Shoveler - Shovel
9 - Blast Door Repairman - Can of Space-WD40
10 - Blaster Targeting Range Officer - Paper target of rebel trooper
11 - Bountyless Hunter - Hold-Out Blaster Pistol (1d4 Damage)
12 - Cantinatender - Bottle of Gungan Brandy
13 - Carbonite Chemist - Sample of a beetle in carbonite
14 - Career Stormtrooper - Improved helmet targeting system (+1 to hit once per day)
15 - Closeted Nearhuman - Makeup
16 - Cloud City Barista - To-go cup
17 - COMPNOR Scout Master - Extra merit badges
18 - Corellian Cockpit Installer - Spanner
19 - Coruscant Community College Grad - Yearbook
20 - Dance Routine Coordinator - Chain, collar, and mix-tape
21 - Dark Side Apologist - Informational pamphlets
22 - Death Star Contractor - Memo to seal off exhaust port
23 - Death Star HR Admin - Assortment of contracting company pens
24 - Deathstick Dealer - Pack of deathsticks
25 - Demoted Fleet Admiral - You’re lucky you escaped with your life!
26 - Desert Comber - Sunscreen
27 - Dewback Breeder - Dewback Prod (1d6 damage)
28 - Disgraced Noble’s Former Butler - Serving tray
29 - Down and Out Sabbac Player - Deck of Sabbac cards
30 - Droid Washer - Can of Oil
31 - Escaped Hutt Slave - Slave Outfit
32 - Ewok Poacher - Ewok Ceremonial Knife (1d3 damage, 1d6 vs. Stormtroopers)
33 - Exhaust Port Scrubber - Heavy duty brush
34 - Exiled Senator’s Brat - Sunglasses and a terrible attitude
35 - Failed Slicer - Datapad
36 - Fizzyglug Dispenser Technician - 6 bottles of Fizzyglug
37 - Force Sensitive Masseuse - Gaudy jewelry
38 - Former Kessel Run Record Holder - Thrift store trophy
39 - Galactic Census Taker - Handheld body counter
40 - Geonosis Concessions Vendor - Meat on a stick
41 - Hidden Base Barber - Straight Razor with Imperial Insignia
42 - HoloNet Blogger - Encoded access to personal Blogsite
43 - Hoth Snow Cataloguer - Samples of melted Hoth snow
44 - Hutt Informant - One-way radio to Jabba the Hutt
45 - Imperial Garden Landscaper - Can of weed killer
46 - Imperial Outpost Plumber - Plunger
47 - Impossibly Deep Pit Architect - 20m long measuring tape
48 - Ion Cannon Consultant - Spare parts for an Ion Cannon
49 - IRS (Imperial Revenue Service) Auditor - Vibroblade (1d6 damage)
50 - Kashyyyk Forest Ranger - Fire extinguisher
51 - Landspeeder Detailer - Landspeeder Wax
52 - Mandalorian Armor Adorner - Trinkets, baubles, and hooks
53 - Max Rebo Bandmate - Mic Stand
54 - Moisture Farmer - Spare Vaporator Parts
55 - Mon Calamari Trapper - A trap
56 - Mouse Droid Programmer - Mouse Droid (unprogrammed)
57 - Mynock Milker - Dried Milk Bars
58 - Naboo Real Estate Agent - 100 credits
59 - Nar Shadaa Bouncer - Brass Knuckles (1d4 Damage)
60 - Nerf Herder - Nerf Herder's Handbook
61 - Old Republic History Minor - Unusual artifact signed by somebody named “Revan”
62 - Order 66 Dodger - Formal disciplinary notice
63 - Outer Rim Hermit - Necklace of animal fangs
64 - PalpaTeens Editor - Subscription to PalpaTeens Magazine
65 - Paralegal Trooper - Worn out copy of the Republic Legal Code
66 - Pod Race Bookie - Worn pad of paper, a pencil, and a list of names
67 - Pod Race Groupie - Signed Photo of Sebulba
68 - Power Converter Delivery Agent - Spare small energy cell
69 - Probe Droid Refurbisher - 5kg of scrap metal and a buzzer
70 - Protocol Droid Tamperer - Spare protocol droid parts
71 - Quixotic Jedi - Lightsaber handle (no crystal)
72 - Rancor Gongtender - Pooper Scooper
73 - Rebel Sympathizer - Stolen Imperial Base Plans
74 - Sail Barge Server - One month worth of tips (17 credits, and a Hutt's phone number)
75 - Scruffy Looking Petshop Owner - Something that could pass for a rodent
76 - Senatorial Maid - Feather duster
77 - Short Order Cook - Dex’s Diner Menu
78 - Sienar Sales Associate - TIE Fighter Catalog
79 - Space Slug Interior Decorator - Breathing mask
80 - Speeder Thief - Speeder hotwiring tool
81 - Spice Taster - A pinch of stolen spices
82 - Star Destroyer Janitor - Microfiber Cleaning Cloth
83 - Star Tours Travel Guide - Travel Brochures
84 - Stormtrooper Armourer - Electrical Tape
85 - Stormtrooper JROTC - Can of shaving cream for hazing ritual
86 - Submersible Bilge Bailer - Bucket
87 - Swoop Ganger - Baby doll head collection
88 - T-16 Aficionado - Custom flight yoke for a T-16
89 - Tauntaun Tamer - Wampa Repellant
90 - Thermal Detonator Quality Tester - Thermal Detonator
91 - TIE Bomber Loader - Six bungee cords
92 - Trash Compactor Attendant - Bag of space monster kibble
93 - Turret Engineer - Extra blaster power pack
94 - Used Speeder Salesman - Cheap suit
95 - Vaporator Technician - Vaporator Toolkit
96 - Villainous Scum - Secret fan letter to Darth Vader
97 - Washed Out TIE Fighter Pilot - TIE Fighter Jumpsuit
98 - Womp Rat Catcher - Shock Stick (DC 10 Fort Save or 1d10 damage, 2 charges)
99 - Wookie Fur Stylist - Wookie Shears
100 - Wretched Hiver - Loose change, less than 1 credit
Other Rules
For most of the other rules I'm just going to "wing it" and run encounters on the fly. Actually, since I own mostly d20 and Saga Edition Star Wars materials, everything converts over to the Dungeon Crawl Classics system quite nicely! The rest of the changes will be minor:
- I'm going to rename "Luck", and call it "The Force" instead.
- Starting equipment, a Stormtrooper blaster rifle, will do 1d6 damage
- The only other equipment the Stormtroopers will have is an empty utility belt… I guess they will have to do some scavenging.
I'll make sure to post the results of the game after International Tabletop Day. Until then, let me know your thoughts! Any and all feedback is appreciated!
Happy Tabletop Day everyone!
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