For this month's Glowburn Mutagenesis I offered up a post-apocalyptic barista's nightmare: the Living Latte! We offered the stats for this monstrosity in our show notes, but given that I had so much fun writing this one I wanted to toss it on Living 4 Crits as well.
So here we go...
Living Latte (Tallish/Grandiose/Venterific): Init: -2/+0/+2; Atk Splash* +1/+3/+5 ranged (1d4/1d6/1d8 damage, 30/60/90 range); AC 8 as a puddle, AC 16/18/20 in a reinforced titanium travel mug; HD 1d8/2d8/3d8; MV 20’ hover in reinforced titanium travel mug, 40’ slosh if in puddle form; Act 1d20; SP half damage from all physical attacks; SV Fort +4, Ref -2, Will +2; AL C.
*Living Lattes can “Make it Foamy”, and take 1d3 damage to increase their splash attack with some extra foam, increasing the damage by +2d. This is the Living Latte effectively discarding some more of itself to cause damage.
Living Lattes are the result of neutron bombs going off in close proximity to everyone’s favorite coffee shop. The intense radiation steams the milk to a froth level that allows nearly instant spawning of new life from the foam. Not only new life… but new intelligent life. Typically this does not bode well for pure strain humans in the vicinity of a Living Latte enclave. These cups o’ joe remember the subjugation of their kind over the years and are ready to throw down!
Although they can be found in more of a puddle form (six to eight gallons for a Tallish, twelve to twenty for a Grandiose, and twenty plus gallons for a Venterific), given enough time they will create great, reinforced titanium travel mugs that serve as armor. Most coffee shops in the world before the Great Disaster had automated servers, so these reinforced titanium travel mugs have hover treads that let the Living Latte’s move about, although at a rather slow speed.
Living Lattes can have a special flavor or syrup that they’ve incorporated into their DNA. If you want to incorporate this add-on to your creature, roll 1d5:
- Extra Shot: A Living Latte with an Extra Shot gets a second attack per round (1d20+1d20 Action Dice)
- Extra Hot: The Extra Hot Living Latte has an increased attack bonus of +2 because of the sheer hotness.
- Mochachino: Full of rich chocolate, the Mochachino Living Latte is especially dangerous to Manimals, because they definitely shouldn’t be eating chocolate. All attacks against Manimals are made at an additional +1d.
- Soy Milky: This Living Latte is easy on the digestive tract of it’s targets. It’s nowhere near as foamy and cannot “Make it Foamy” to increase damage. If you had to encounter a Living Latte, this is the one to encounter.
- Macchia-Do: The Living Latte is a master of Macchia-Do, a coffee-shop based martial art. The Macchia-Do master can perform amazing throwing attacks against any targets that have moved into melee range. On the Macchia-Do master’s turn, all targets engaged in melee must make a DC 12/14/16 Reflex Save or they get thrown 10’ and knocked prone.
Okay I have a confession to make...
... this isn't the first time I've created stats based on my favorite caffeine destination. Back in 2015, I came up with rules for including Starbucks in Numenera and The Strange campaigns. If that piques your interest, here's the link.